Raising content and grateful hearts.

So often in our culture, we are bombarded with goods and services, from the latest tech to the newest fad diet. Our world revolves and seems to sustain itself purely on commerce. To even consider being frugal, or withstand the temptations to indulge in the latest and greatest can be a challenge. But what if I told you that you could live and thrive, that you could even raise children to have contentment with the things they have, would you believe me? Is it impossible to imagine a world with content self-regulating adults? A world where children can safely and appropriately express their emotions and not throw temper tantrums beyond what’s age appropriate? I do want to preface by saying that I understand there are unique situations with all children and many factors both organic and inorganic may inhibit a child from being able to regulate their emotions and I am not here to state that this is a one-sized fits all recipe.

I believe it is our duty as parents to raise children that are grateful from the start. This does not mean that your child won’t ever throw a tantrum, believe me, some days my three-year-old is a walking tantrum, but it does mean that it is our job to stay consistent. To be a parent, even when it’s hard, takes patience, love, and exceptional consistency. What do consistency and contentment look like in my home? How do we raise our children to constantly show gratitude and love in everything they do? We center our home around Christ, and we teach contentment as an emotion that needs to be cared for, spiritually and emotionally. In the bible, there are many verses on contentment but the one that sticks out to me the most is Matthew 6:25, which states, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”. This verse for me is the sum total of everything I work on daily within my home and with my children. As I raise three children, aged five and under, every moment of interaction with them is an opportunity to teach them that God provides everything. My children understand that their food comes from hard work from Daddy, through God’s blessings. They are grateful for the things they have because we explain exactly how they have been given them. A few ways to teach your children how to be grateful and to show contentment is by explaining how the things they have arrived. How can we expect a child to show these traits when we don’t teach them the value of things? My son understands that much of his clothing comes from his cousin and appreciates that. My daughter just today was elated when I told her we had white american deli cheese to make her beloved grilled cheese for lunch. That may sound confusing or strange, but because we live a frugal lifestyle, I have not purchased deli cheese in many weeks because it is currently so expensive, and we’ve been using yellow sharp cheese which I bought on sale. White american cheese just so happened to be on sale this week at my local store for a price I felt was fair and so I bought some. The joy in her heart having a grilled cheese with her favorite cheese was a beautiful sight. I want to make it clear, however, that I fully expect my children to have big feelings and emotions because they are children. There are days when regardless of how I teach them, or how I parent them, they just are in their feels and need extra cuddles and love. It is important not to disparage the difference between teaching and knowing when to listen. Sometimes just listening to them can be the best teaching moments, for us parents, especially.

God calls us to put our entire trust in him to provide for us, and he absolutely will if we accept him and ask him. It may be in the form of an opportunity that brings in extra money right in time for the holidays, or it might present itself as a friend helping you with your children during a very stressful time. The Bible also says in Matthew 6:26, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”. This is probably one of the hardest-hitting verses in the bible for me because it hits you in the face with contentment and if you aren’t showing it in your daily life, it’ll make you check yourself if you know what I mean. Whenever I feel dissatisfied with things or people, I just remember that God gifts us with grace and while we may stumble to always show contentment, we can rest assured knowing that by yielding to him, he empowers us with the will to keep trying.

There is no perfect recipe for raising little ones who will grow up with content hearts. My biggest suggestion is just to continue to pour love into your kids and make God a priority. You see, without the pouring of love into your children, none of the other things I mentioned above can flourish, and without the pouring of constant love, you just won’t be taken seriously. Raising content hearts starts with accountability as a parent, being a content adult, and loving yourself. Make sure you are loving yourself enough first and please reach out to someone safe for help if you are struggling. Mental health is such a real, raw, and closeted epidemic in our country and parents sometimes just aren’t equipped to take care of themselves, let alone take on the task of trying to raise their kids. If you are struggling in any way, reach out to loved ones, or speak to your doctor as soon as possible. If you still feel like you are not being heard contact your state’s local helplines. In Pennsylvania, that information is below:

Pennsylvania’s Support & Referral Helpline connects Pennsylvanians with mental and emotional support and to local resources. Call 855-284-2494 (TTY: 724-631-5600). Call 211 to reach the United Way and get connected to help in your area.

I truly believe that contentment is taught through demonstration of it by parents in a child’s life. If you want to see better behavior in your child of any age, demonstrate the behavior you wish to see. Surround yourself with people that share the same values as you, but also remember not to closet your children to the world, as I believe there is a lot of learning in differing opinions, customs, and values. Be the love and warmth your children so desperately need and desire, and apologize when you are wrong. Children do not need perfect parents but need to witness mistakes, and hear apologies and repentance as role models in their lives.

Blessings,

Sarah